

The last few days around here we have gotten lots and lots of snow, and it is supposed to continue to come until this evening. Since i live so close to where i work these days, i don't really mind it. Instead i can just enjoy how beautiful it looks when i am all cozy reading a book in my little house. :)
Also i have found myself in a bit of a bad place the last few days.
When i get in these moods one part of me wants to obsess on figuring out WHY
i get in these moods to begin with,
but the other half just wants to figure out a way to get myself out of it.
This week I think the second half is winning.
Basically lately i have felt this crazy need
to have other people give me something
But quite often even if i do work up the courage or whatever
to actually ask or attempt to get what i need
either they don't want to give it, or they cant,
or what they can give ends up
not being what i really wanted in the first place.
And from there i generally either get filled with rage
or terribly terribly sad.
Which of course, isn't real good.
So, i am thinking now that the results will be better if I just don't ask.
If instead I try to work through it on my own, whether that be through writing it all out of me
or trying to distract myself with a very enthralling book.
Turns out I am actually pretty easily distracted and can get very wrapped up in what i read.
So we will see how this next attempt goes.
And i have no idea why i am waking up as early in the morning as i have been.
But i am really really looking forward to sleeping in this weekend
and not having anything I have to do
except watch the huge snowflakes fall. :)