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monday, monday

We made it back after a nice, quick weekend getaway. The drive was beautiful and it was great to get to spend time with friends.

Hot dogs were good too!

now for the challenge...

For Saturday’s bit of self are, amidst my busy morning I took 20 minutes to sit quietly and write in my journal before scrambling to get everything done that needed to be done. It was very much necessary and helped me to feel more level the rest of the day.

Sunday’s was similar in that again I had list of 12 thousand things to do, but instead of immediately doing them, I spent a whole hour on the back porch reading a book.

:)

self censoring

Yesterday this was on my mind. The idea of censoring ourselves. Holding back.

Why do we do it?

Mostly fear i think. Of rejection, of failure, of sharing something important and then not being valued.

But what are the benefits if we don't do it?

We become more creative. We become braver. We become more comfortable with ourselves and confident in our knowledge of who we are. We become less afraid of failure and rejection and more able to find value in ourselves instead of from the approval of others.

I think those positives far outweigh the negatives.
So what’s stopping us? Nothing of consequence.

Lets go for it.

Side note:
I have decided that Fear is silly. Of course I still feel it. Of course it still sometimes renders me unable to move. But at least those times are getting fewer. And some bit of progress is enough.

So, as part of the challenge what I did for myself yesterday was to be honest.

And I don’t mean that I just didn’t lie, what I mean is that I was open and honest and didn’t hold back (as much as usual). I shared myself with those I care about. I let them see what was in my head.

As odd as it may sound I am pretty private by nature.

It scares me to open myself up to other people and

I tend to hold back those things that are most precious to me.

Yesterday I tried my best not to do that.

day three

The lovely lady who came up with this self care challenge idea asked yesterday if it was getting harder as the week has gone on to make time every day to do something just for me. And the answer is yes. It has gotten harder. But maybe that just means it will be more rewarding in the end.

I am also finding that what I count as self-care may change from one day to the next, depending on what I need. And yesterday what I needed was to care for someone else (or at least do my best). So that is what I did

I have been thinking lately about how much power we have to do good. And how much good we can do just by taking care of each other. Very small things have made a difference to me, and I believe my small actions can make a difference to someone else too.

In other news…
I made 3 more books yesterday (two large albums and a smaller book for myself) and a very good veggie/hummus/burrito type thing for dinner.

Work (life) is busy, but the weekend is coming quickly...

pause...

Sometimes I want to just put everything on pause. A conversation, a phone call, a meeting, an argument, a life. I want my glue to stop drying and my torch flame to stay right where it is. Margo’s tail to stop mid wag.
Just pause. Take a breather. A breath.

Yesterday when I was feeling overwhelmed I took the time I needed to gather my thoughts and relax.
I was out of sorts. I felt antsy and irritable and grumpy and very nearly unable to do anything. I didn’t know where to start. Something was unclear and it made me feel unsettled.
Then I decided to just dig in.
The trick, I think, was to just do something. To act.
Start anywhere.

Just BEGIN.

So once I started I actually became quite the book making maniac. I made six books in all, three large albums and thee more normal sized blank books. I made them while watching fun background movies and listening to the rain and thunderstorm outside. It was actually quite nice.

Now, for day two of the proposition.

There are a number of things that I could say I did for myself, but I think the most important overall was this:
I didn’t rush myself. I gave myself the time and space I needed. I didn’t try to force it. I waited until I was ready and then I think the whole day and process of doing what needed to be done was much more enjoyable and productive then it would have been otherwise.

Now I am back at work and off to tackle day three…

The Proposition

While blog hopping today I came across this proposition.
I was completely intrigued by it.

The idea is that so many of us do not see just quite how great we are.

SO, the challenged is for one week

to keep a list of at least one thing that you do each day that is just for YOU.

I think it will be just wonderful.

PS.

I will tell you all about my long weekend tomorrow.