snippets

The house is starting to come together and and actually feel more like where I live.

Also I sort of wish it would rain today (or tonight), which is odd because I am going camping this weekend.

My good mood yesterday lasted precisely until I got home from work and things began to go wrong. Well, not wrong exactly, but not according to plan, which yesterday felt like the same thing as things going wrong.

The wild mood swings are starting to be less interesting and entertaining then they used to be.

I am also feeling more and more strongly lately how I need to get better at letting go of the plan.

I desperately need to find some balance. I am trying, but so far just haven't found it. But I will.

I am happy to have at least the start of a decent workspace. Hopefully that means I might at some point in my near future do some actual work.

I have been grumpy today. I wish I hadn't been. But hopefully a solitary drive and trip to the movies in a new town while I wait for my man to come meet me after a few days away will help lift it.

If that doesn't then I'm pretty sure seeing the ocean will.

Have a wonderful weekend birds!! xo

seeing past the rain splattered window

1. Looking through a rain spotted window.

2. Searching for the perfect yoga studio.

3. I made three medium albums that will dry overnight

and then be ready to ship off tomorrow.

4. I am researching new cameras.

I adore photography and have only had a little point and shoot for too long.

So I just might get one.

Merry Christmas to me. :)

5. A trip to the post office where happily the line wasn't TOO long.

6. I will soon have dinner with some friends at a rib place

that is apparently owned by Snoop Dog's uncle.

The food sounds quite promising.

7. I was also lucky enough to be the winner of this lovely calendar HERE.

Thanks Cathy!

a step back on a lovely rainy Monday

The last few days I have felt a little blue... its been one of those times when after lots of effort, what I wanted didn't happen, so I figured the best thing to do was to throw more effort at it. Work. Time. Whatever I could. It was a decent distraction, but distraction only lasts so long. And after all that I have to face the fact that effort does not at all guarantee that you road you are on will take you to what you want.

So I am now thinking

that perhaps less effort

is a better answer.

Or at least effort

directed toward

other things.

So on these grey days I am trying to notice the way the dark sky makes colors brighter and to take pleasure in painted toenails and comfy flip flops. When I feel a wave of something negative I pick up a book for distraction. I write a poem. I wrap a present and put it under the tree. I draw or try to think of a pretty phrase to describe the feeling.

I don't try to find someone else to fix it,

because it isn't something that anyone

else will be able to fix.

Who knows if this is

the best method,

but its what I am

trying now.

I also ended up taking a very random

and very rainy trip to the coast

yesterday. I did manage a little walk

in the water even while we were being

pelted with rain. But the ocean is

pretty awesome (and healing)

even in the dark and the rain.

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I have also had some fun making some lovely custom orders

which I will show you all tomorrow

when their glue has dried.

***

I am also quite happy about my new stamps that arrived in

the mail today.

They are all pictures that were

in a 19th century Pictorial

Webster's Dictionary.

I cant wait to use them.

Hope you are doing

something lovely

with your Monday night.

Toodles!

I love a rainy Tuesday

It has been a whirlwind few days.

Not really because of outside influences

but because I was just in that sort of a mood.

I have been cleaning and organizing

and making lots and lots of lists.

I have been getting ready to be gone for 10 days (which I know isn't that long really, but somehow it seems like a long time to be away). This means lots of laundry, packing, making lists of all power cords and chargers that I don’t want to be without, trips to the post office (one swap package is ready to go and will be on its way tomorrow), and making a number of productive phone calls that I have been putting off.

But amidst all this chaos I have

somehow found a bit of calm.

After months of feeling like I had

no apparent direction

I can now see the path

is beginning to clear.

and that is

a huge relief.

Also I was having a bit of etsy anxiety

(because sales lately have been lots lower then ever before)

even to the point that I was wondering if it was worth the trouble,

and then a lovely buyer left me this note when checking out:

I've loved the things I've bought from you before, so I'm back - this is going to be a journal that I keep for my son who is 1 years old today. I think he has a chance of understanding his roots if he reads about himself across the years :-)

It was just what I needed.

I love knowing what my books are being used for

and I really love knowing that their use

turns them into something really meaningful.

So here's to keepin' on,

trying again,

and reminders that come just when you need them.

a day trip to Astoria, OR

Last Thursday I got outta town

and went on a quick little day trip to

Astoria Oregon.

Astoria is home to the Goonies house,

some awesome bridges,

an especially good brewery

and some amazing views.

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an especially amazing bridge we came across

and got to drive over

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the Goonies house

Do you recognize it??

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What are your weekend adventures?

the sensation of leaving

Lately its like every day brings

some slightly new sensation.

Some experience or feeling

that I haven't had before.

Its not unbearable.

Its not something that cant be handled.

But it is surprising.

Occasionally today
out of the blue
I keep finding myself getting teary.
I am in the process of saying goodbye
to a lot of things that I loved
(and didn't love)
and grew attached to.
I'm ok.
I'm just a bit emotional.

And I am enjoying the rain

and thunder and lightning,

its a small break after 85 degree days.

I am going to miss all of it.
Him and here.
I do already.

a glorious, rainy, contradiction of a day

Today is a glorious rainy day.

I have to tell you

that I am having mixed feelings

about leaving this place that i have both

loved and hated.

It has been my home through some of

the best and worst

that I have ever experienced.

It has also been my home

and refuge

during the times of my

most profound and

sometimes painful

growth.

I am both happy to be leaving

[the thought of going HOME sometimes

takes my breath away] and

heartbroken.

[the thought of 2500 miles

between me and all that I love here

is too much

to wrap my head around .]

I feel a bit like one big

contradiction,

but in a good way.

Today also would have been my

8 year wedding anniversary,

which of course makes it a bit

odd, and sad,

but ok too.

But it is certainly a day

for looking back.

and enjoying

listening to the

rain drops

as they fall.

why I love rain and the early morning

Some days there is nothing better then a grey sky

and rain falling as I walk through the morning air.

I love the early morning for

the quiet

and the solitude

and the beautiful skies.

risk

The only way to find true happiness

is to risk being completely cut open.

(Chuck Palahniuk)

a new week

Overall the weekend was good.

I wish it had been longer.

I had some good times and good conversations
(which are always better when had with a shared bottle of wine)
and I think that I am getting better at being honest with myself.

Better at forgiving.
Better at limits.

Better at accepting the bad with the good

without too much sadness.

Today it is raining
And I am SO happy about it.

(I took my time walking through it and didn’t mind the odd looks of my coworkers)

Today I (so far):
got to talk to an old friend,
took a moment for myself during the day,
worked hard,
didn’t worry,

and turned inward instead of outward when my mind started going a direction I didn’t want it to.

So far its been a pretty good day.

I think I am ready for some cold weather. I want to bundle up. :)