on alone time

Hello lovelies.

Well, since recently moving out of my parents house after living there for about a year after my divorce I find myself doing a couple of things. First of all I am reveling in the freedom of it, of being able to decorate and cook and lay around and basically do just exactly what I want when I want (within reason of course). Its fantastic and I have missed it. But I also find myself feeling a bit lonely.

I have lived alone before (while separated from my ex, for about a year) and I loved it. I know that I will love it again. But I am having to relearn certain things about it.

Now, of course I know I am not REALLY alone. I have friends and family who are wonderful, a man in my life whom I adore (though he is gone pretty much every Mon-Fri for work), and an adorable kitty to keep me company.

This new place where I live is about 40 minutes from most of my friends in Portland proper and I worry that it will soon start to feel like too much effort to drive to see each other. I worry that I wont feel like making the drive for a random Tuesday night dinner with a girlfriend. But those things are important! And I don't want to miss out on them. So I will just have to make the effort and not let them slip through the cracks.

Living alone can be really fantastic, but just like anything else you have to learn how to do it right. How to take advantage of the good things and not mind the slightly negative ones.

I am working on it.

A thought: Its harder to remember that I know I am wonderful when I'm not surrounded constantly by people who also think so.

Also I think its important to appreciate those random connections you make with people. The conversation I had this morning with the lady who was repairing the printer about riding a train from Portland to San Diego and her fear of flying. I will try my best to not forget to see the value in those.

Now I bet most of you have already seen this, but go to www.andreadorfman.com/film.html and click on the first thumbnail photo to watch her how to be alone video.

its awesome.

Sorry to only post the link, I am having some computer difficulties this morning...

lava lake and some glorious green

This weekend we went camping near Sisters Oregon. Saw the Metolius River (it begins seemingly out of no where, from the side of a hill - it isn't there and then it is. Its lovely and intriguing), helped a stranger and his car out of a ditch, slept amazingly well in the back of a van and explored the most amazing meadow I have seen in a very long time.

I took a nap in the soft grass and we swam in the (very) cold water.

We walked and walked from one end to the other and back again.

I read while he fished.

I felt more connected to the world around me then I had in a long while. It was fantastic.

I hope your weekends were just what you needed them to be.

the opposite of isolation

Lately I have felt a very strong connection to a selection of women who I know only through the internet.

They don't even know who they are necessarily since in some cases there has been no real interaction, but sometimes I read a post and the experience or thought or feeling that these women and I have shared is significant.

Today I am thankful for the feeling of connection and togetherness and not alone-ness that I have found through something as random as the Internet.

The idea that women and people in general, though we live in different places and under such incredibly different circumstances, can still have so many shared experiences and similar feelings is pretty amazing.