trying is scary

Lately I havent been writing. And I have been wondering to myself why I have not been writing. I want to write. I really want to. I should do it. I need to do it. So why don't I just do it? If I really wanted to, I would, right? So does it follow that I don't really want to?

Nope, I think instead the reason is this:

Writing is scary.

At least for me it is. And I think mostly why its scary is because if I really truly try my very best, if I put my whole heart and soul into something and then I find out that even with all the effort I'm just not very good, it will be very, very heartbreaking.

This idea applies to most things in life... trying is scary.

This is also why once I have braved that great big blank page and have written something, the next step of showing it to someone becomes scary.

But of course, with writing (as well as anything else) if I don't try, if I don't just buckle down and do it, then I don't have even the slightest chance of not sucking. If I don't try then I suck automatically.

Today I really love THIS POST over at Unruly Helpmeet.

First drafts are always bad. Get used to it. Expect it. Don't worry about it. What a fantastic thought.

Signing off~ SS

Things I want to do this summer

Camp. Go rock climbing on a real rock. See my nieces and nephews. Go to the ocean (repeatedly). See big, silly summer movies. Grow things. Eat fresh food. Cook. Use the library. Read A LOT. Spend as much time outdoors as possible. Write. Make art. Drive with the windows down. Smile a lot. Get on top of my finances. Get a tan (slowly, while wearing sun screen of course!). Ride a bike. Go fishing. Wear flip flops with painted toe nails. Grill. Find a place to live that is closer to work and make it my home. Write more letters. Get another torch. Stop worrying about things that aren't worth worrying about.

photo credit

thoughts on stupid

Sometimes every smart girl needs a little stupid.

found via yes and yes

use it!

found via YES and YES

writing goals for this month and beyond

I am currently participating in a free on line e course from Tara Gentile of Scoutie Girl
(you should all check it out here, its free and its great…)
and part of what she discusses is the value and necessity of action.

You can’t learn a thing

or succeed a thing

unless you are actually DOING that thing.

Simple, yes, but also oh so true. And true things can be easily forgotten.

So, my writing goals for the month are simple:

1. write every day

This is kind of a 2 parter...

*

part 1: At least half an hour must be spent actually writing. Any type of writing counts, except journaling because I would do that anyway.

part 2: Another half an hour (at the very least) must be spent working on an existing project. This can be editing or reading over what I have just written, something I have written previously, or researching for another project.

This part is important because so often I write something, something that I like, that though it needs work does seem to have actual potential. And then instead of working on it and polishing it and getting it ready to actually share with the world I just let it get buried under so many other things.

I am not good with the follow through,

and so this part of this goal is all about follow through.

(Lately I have also been realizing how important it is to know my own strengths and weaknesses…

and that is certainly one of my weaknesses)

* Also please note that these times are absolute minimums and I would love and expect to have many days where I spend a whole lot longer then half an hour on these things.

***

2. project organization

By this I mean that I intend to organize all the unfinished pieces I currently have laying around so that I have some sort of an actual idea what I have, what stage its in, what could be combined with what, and what my priorities are as far as projects are concerned.

This will enable me to follow through and actually finish projects much more easily, since this way I will actually know what projects I have to work on.

So there ya have it.

They are simple,

but I think they will also be a good start

as far as getting me

where I want to go.

Plus I will be spending 10 days this month in SLC Utah helping my big sister move into her first house. So writing on some of those long and busy days might be a bit of a challenge, but I am still confident I can make it work.

Now go have

a lovely

Wednesday!

PS. One of my mixed media ACEO's

was featured HERE.

Thanks so much Jane!

thoughts on action and attitude

found via yes and yes

the opposite of clinging

While at the ocean I was very clearly reminded that in order to survive and grow and use my time well for the next few months, during this next stage of my progression what I need to do more then any other thing is to stop clinging so tightly. Even if what I am clinging to is good, useful or even completely necessary. I cannot thrive, I cannot grow while I hold to anything as tightly as I have been holding.

The only way to move forward from this point is to relinquish control. To be at peace with things and with myself as they are right now.

Hope is a wonderful thing, but when too much importance is placed on certain hopes being attained, those hopes can do just as much harm as they can do good.

So
I will stop clinging so tightly
And I will be at peace with my life

and the state of things as they are right now.

PS.

also this morning

i am reminded of the importance of action.

Even if I am afraid. Even if I am hurt.

Even if I think I couldn't possibly matter or make any difference.

Sometimes you just need to do it anyway.

PPS.

photos of the ocean to come :)

fear and the audacity of caring

Last night I had a small

fear related freak out.

But last night is over.

*

This morning

I am determined to feel better

and ready to go take on whatever

gets in my way.

I will not not do something

or not care about something

just because it might not work out.

*

That would be plain silly.

Instead I will work on

and work with the good

that is already around me.

And I will work

to create more of what I want.

***

And I will be brave enough to

care about every last bit of it.

change

found here

***
I think my extra delicate stage is coming to an end.
:)