aceo love and chasing the upswing

I am an interesting combination

of positive and negative.

*

In one way I am eternally optimistic, which sometimes makes it nearly impossible for me to fully give up on something. But I also have occasional strong doses of depressive tendencies mixed in with that very stubborn persistence. That makes for some pretty wild mood swings.

*

At least it keeps things interesting :)

***

But I am happy to say that

I am learning the art of control and balance

and that right now

I am on a lovely upswing.

***

This is partially due to some good friends and their kind gestures, some amazing family, a night of watercolors, many cups of coffee, my sweet kitty, and the unending rainfall yesterday.

I hope you have

a beautiful Wednesday.

ACEO's will be posted in

THE SHOP

throughout the day.

*

PS. Sometimes our confidence may get a little wobbly.

But then fate or a friend steps in and it comes back again.

And all is well.

multitudes...

***

"Do I contradict myself?

Very well, then I contradict myself

(I am large, I contain multitudes)."

***

Whalt Whitman

intention vs. intuition

I am a woman of contrasts.
Possessing both patience
and a very short fuse.

***

Today I am torn.

Both are so beautiful

(intention and intuition)

so important,

both bringing out such vital

parts of the self.

***

I feel a fairly constant conflict.

Like darkness and light,

the many halves of my whole

do not always get along.

***

Its mostly a friendly fight.

but there is

no telling

which side will be

victorious.

a glorious, rainy, contradiction of a day

Today is a glorious rainy day.

I have to tell you

that I am having mixed feelings

about leaving this place that i have both

loved and hated.

It has been my home through some of

the best and worst

that I have ever experienced.

It has also been my home

and refuge

during the times of my

most profound and

sometimes painful

growth.

I am both happy to be leaving

[the thought of going HOME sometimes

takes my breath away] and

heartbroken.

[the thought of 2500 miles

between me and all that I love here

is too much

to wrap my head around .]

I feel a bit like one big

contradiction,

but in a good way.

Today also would have been my

8 year wedding anniversary,

which of course makes it a bit

odd, and sad,

but ok too.

But it is certainly a day

for looking back.

and enjoying

listening to the

rain drops

as they fall.

contrast

I like contrasts. I like for things to sometimes be slightly out of balance. Just sometimes, and just a little. It keeps things interesting.

I think I am full of these seemingly contradictory things. I think most of us are.

Sometimes it makes it hard for me to feel like I have a solid understanding of who I am, because I think that I should be more consistent, that I should be one or the other - but now I beginning to think that its ok (or even better then ok) to be both. It’s ok to embrace both sides of each story and allow them all to be important parts of me.

CONTRASTS within me or you or both…

Faith / doubt
Contentment / discontent
Missing home / wanting to wander
Hope / hopelessness
Asleep / awake
Soulful / the desire to not care so deeply (if just for a moment…)
Confidence / insecurity
Responsible / wild
Living in the now / focusing on the future
Well behaved / not so much
Bold / shy
Invincible / defeated
Rhythm / random
Craving alone time / needing people
Private / full of wanting to be understood and known

They are all a part of me. I want to learn to see the value in both. That each has their time and purpose and usefulness.

Its summer time and I think we all need to do something a little WILD…