Tuesday, May 26, 2009

what's with TODAY, today?

a few patches for my leaky life

Reading words that are inspiring
Know what side I am choosing and what my decisions mean
Look my reality square in the face
Forgive myself for my failings
Find direction
Getting extra sleep and taking lots of vitamins

I do not currently feel very tranquil. There is too much pressure of late, especially for the summer. Too much going on. I almost feel pressured by all the fun things that I want to do. I also feel a bit like I am drowning in a few too many etsy custom orders. Though I love them dearly, I should do better at spacing them out. Otherwise I find myself sitting there with 10 12x12 large albums to make and hardly feel able to begin at all. Those are the times when I must stop and breath and look at things one at a time. It is sometimes difficult.
I have been thinking about how I censor myself, and seeing how it hurts my creativity and sense of who I am. Being honest about who I am is a healing thing. I do not do it often enough and I wonder what I am so afraid of. Rejection is not really that bad. It has happened before and I survived it.
But I am trying and will continue to try and for now that is enough.
Now its time for a nap.

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