Sunday, June 14, 2009

what a glorious sound the keyboard makes

Sometimes the studio brings solace.
Or a journal or the sound of my fingers moving quickly over a keyboard.
I think having a place to put all of the pent up emotion that you cant quite get out through conversation

(or at least I cant)
is really really soothing.

It’s been an odd week.
We had a death in the family and I am now unexpectedly traveling out west to attend a funeral. It also just so happens I will be in town for a wedding and my grandmothers 88th birthday. And being out of town last week for work I now feel like I haven’t been home in ages.

I am feeling a bit off. Like when something is reflected in water and all the piece are there, but it’s still not quite right. The basic outline is ok but things are all wavy and out of proportion. Its just been one of those times when conversations don’t go how you want them to and you find yourself unable to be as patient as you know you should be.

Its like I have something I need to say but it just won’t come out.

Anyway I am going to see my sister and parents and much extended family.
And there is always something comforting in that.
And I will keep trying to get out of me whatever it is that is causing me all this trouble.

And today that effort is enough.

After an hour of typing away (what a glorious sound the keyboard makes) I think I have uncovered what I needed to say. I found it and heard it and shared it with myself. I feel much more clear. Much more settled and safe and calm. Now if only I could share it with the one I need to share it with…

I am feeling much better now in general. I was wonderful to see family and give hugs to those who need them.

I decided to still go ahead and post this even though the feeling has mostly passed.

Below is one of my favorite bridges in all of Portland. :)


  1. Glad you are feeling better. At times life can be like a roller coaster. Take a deep breath, keep safe on your trip. And let the GOOD times roll.

  2. Sorry about the loss of your family member. Sounds like a very busy week with a lot of various emotions.


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