Well, since recently moving out of my parents house after living there for about a year after my divorce I find myself doing a couple of things. First of all I am reveling in the freedom of it, of being able to decorate and cook and lay around and basically do just exactly what I want when I want (within reason of course). Its fantastic and I have missed it. But I also find myself feeling a bit lonely.
I have lived alone before (while separated from my ex, for about a year) and I loved it. I know that I will love it again. But I am having to relearn certain things about it.
Now, of course I know I am not REALLY alone. I have friends and family who are wonderful, a man in my life whom I adore (though he is gone pretty much every Mon-Fri for work), and an adorable kitty to keep me company.
This new place where I live is about 40 minutes from most of my friends in Portland proper and I worry that it will soon start to feel like too much effort to drive to see each other. I worry that I wont feel like making the drive for a random Tuesday night dinner with a girlfriend. But those things are important! And I don't want to miss out on them. So I will just have to make the effort and not let them slip through the cracks.
Living alone can be really fantastic, but just like anything else you have to learn how to do it right. How to take advantage of the good things and not mind the slightly negative ones.
I am working on it.
A thought: Its harder to remember that I know I am wonderful when I'm not surrounded constantly by people who also think so.
Also I think its important to appreciate those random connections you make with people. The conversation I had this morning with the lady who was repairing the printer about riding a train from Portland to San Diego and her fear of flying. I will try my best to not forget to see the value in those.
Now I bet most of you have already seen this, but go to www.andreadorfman.com/film.html and click on the first thumbnail photo to watch her how to be alone video.
Sorry to only post the link, I am having some computer difficulties this morning...