money and everything else

It has been raining for what feels like days and days out here in lovely Portland.

The sky keeps switching from grey to an amazing bright blue with shimmery clouds.

Its been a good week.

***

This morning I got a job offer for a job that I was quite happy to even find and apply for. It's to be a publishing assistant, which is not at all glamorous, but for years I have wanted to work in publishing and have not had the opportunity. This very entry level job may be a way in for me. But (there is always a but isn't there...) the pay is quite low. This was expected. Many jobs in the industry are this way, especially very entry level ones like this one. But this is excessively low. Low enough that even with my very cheap single lifestyle I am not sure I could swing it.

So now I am torn.

I want to take the job.

I think it would be good experience for me

and will help me determine if publishing

is really what I want to pursue a career in.

***

And I do understand the value of having a job I like

and of getting experience I will need.

But I also understand the value of having a savings account.

Or of being able to travel,

or fix my car when it breaks,

or buy a new pair of jeans or a latte when I want to.

And not being able to do those things is hard.

*

So now I find

myself thinking about balancing

the importance of money

with the importance of

everything else.