a blur of green

I love a blur of green.

***

I think lately I have become too afraid of losing control.

though I know that the idea of being in control

is mostly an illusion anyway,

it has still somehow become important to me.

TOO important.

and the time has come to loosen my grip.

***

Also I find great comfort today

in the idea of possibility

and that in following my intuition

and the direction of my soul

I will find something that

I am supposed to find.

***

Today was my first weekday off work

since I began working at my current job

and as I drive through Portland on this rainy day

it strikes me that through a rain covered window

on a grey day, Oregon and Ohio

don't look all that awfully different.

***

Another hopeful thought...

fighting for a thing

is different then

clinging to it.

And I am determined

to learn the difference.