Doubt

I arrived home

to find myself having a bit of a freak out.

I was fine, more then fine,

but suddenly I am surrounded by doubt and darkness.

Where there was confidence and faith,

there are now questions and fear.

I question it all.

I question too much.

And though I know that ALL my fears and worries aren't true

(they CANT be true... ??)

I am terrified that they are.

There is horror in it.

And I am afraid.

I know that the

strength of the feeling will pass.

but the seed of doubt that it planted

will be harder to discard.

When it came

I felt that I couldn't pretend

it wasn't there.

I couldn't pretend

that it wasn't frightening.

So I allowed it to wash over me, embraced it,

but only for a short time.

I felt I had to honestly share it.

And now I will try to begin

to climb my way back.