Tuesday, June 22, 2010

permanence vs. non permanence

I have been thinking lately
about the permanence
or rather
non permanence of things.
Sometimes a thing will FEEL permanent,
even if its new.
Sometimes a thing or a place or a person feels
like home.
And sometimes it doesn't.

When I made the decision to come home to Oregon it was not meant to necessarily be a permanent move. It was meant to give me some time to gather my thoughts and rest my weary soul so that I could be better equipped to make these very big decisions that I am now faced with.

And now that I am here it feels even more non permanent than anticipated.
I feel a bit transient.
Antsy.
Like I am not done yet.

I love Portland and I love my family (though I haven’t even seen my parents yet as they do a lot of traveling these days…). But my gut is not giving me the impression that I am HOME quite yet.
Truthfully I am not yet sure where I am meant to be.
But that's ok.
I am learning to be ok without all the answers laid out clearly in front of me.
I will keep looking and hopefully soon I will find the direction that feels like home.
Some of the treasures found in my parents
magnificent and wild backyard.


2 comments:

  1. it's so good to be able to lay all of this out and verbalize it......and it is also good to be content right where you are for the moment.....the perfect place to be.....

    ...it will be so clear when it is time!

    xo

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  2. Thanks SO much for the support and encouragement. I am looking forward to the day of clarity! ... and trying to learn patience :)

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