I know that there are always ups and downs. I have always had ups and downs. For as long as I can remember. So why in the world am I surprised and dismayed when I suddenly find myself at the top of a downward slope? This has happened before, and I am sure it will happen again. So why do I still get this feeling of panic? of dread? of being out of control?
I step back and I try to see it logically.
I say to myself that I have been through this many times before.
I know that it wont last forever.
Its not that bad.
I say all these things to myself
but they are still not altogether convincing
when faced with it.
The difference is
this time around I feel much better equipped to handle it,
to keep it at bay.
I know what to throw myself into,
what will most effectively keep my mind occupied
on good and productive things.
I have created limits for myself
and (mostly) stuck to them.
So this time its different.
This time, though I do feel a little dread,
I also feel hope.
(and the sunshine coming through my window)