Wednesday, April 14, 2010

the occasional downward slope

I know that there are always ups and downs. I have always had ups and downs. For as long as I can remember. So why in the world am I surprised and dismayed when I suddenly find myself at the top of a downward slope? This has happened before, and I am sure it will happen again. So why do I still get this feeling of panic? of dread? of being out of control?

I step back and I try to see it logically.
I say to myself that I have been through this many times before.
I know that it wont last forever.
Its not that bad.
I say all these things to myself
but they are still not altogether convincing
when faced with it.

The difference is
this time around I feel much better equipped to handle it,
to keep it at bay.
I know what to throw myself into,
what will most effectively keep my mind occupied
on good and productive things.
I have created limits for myself
and (mostly) stuck to them.

So this time its different.
This time, though I do feel a little dread,
I also feel hope.
(and the sunshine coming through my window)


  1. Ah the ebb and flow. Have you read Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindbergh? She talks about the ebb and flow of life. The tide might be going out, but it always comes back in again. I would recommend reading it. I realised I was a very faithless creature who held on to things too tightly. Loosen your grip and hold on to your life gently. I'm thinking of you x x

  2. Thanks friend. :)
    you give good advice


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